'cause inside you're ugly
6:06 PM |
Listening to: Billy Liar by The Decemberists.
Feeling: disappointed.
Eisley's latest album is finally out. But I can't seem to find it anywhere. Maybe I haven't been looking hard enough. Grrr. Must. Get. It.
I just found out something really awful last night. The things people do, really. It's bad enough that you have changed for the worst and now you're making people boycott the person who has always been there for you since day one? That's really low. It's upsetting to see how things turned out to be. Do we even know you? Lies, lies, lies. That's what we've been getting from you these days. We're not stupid. Well, maybe I am. Because I still do not wanna believe all these. I still think deep down inside, you're a nice person. I'm still defending you. I want to. I wanna talk to you about it. I really do. But I can't. Because things will turn ugly since I'm not exactly involved. Yet, I can't pretend that nothing has happened. If you only knew that it's killing her inside. Maybe some time soon, you'll find out. And you'll regret what an ugly person you have turned into and all the shit that you have done. Then, things will go back to normal like how they were when.
You are very naive, Jasmine.
I hate to be the sensitive one all the time. Whenever stuff like these happened, I'm always the one that is badly affected. I lied when I said I did not care. Time and time again, I keep telling myself to not be arsed by all of it, to not give in when I know it's not my fault. Why do I always have to be the one that has to patch things up when people are so unappreciative? No, it's not because I'm a good person. I'm not even a good person to begin with. It's because I care.
"Oh oh oh you lie,
Tell me something more
Feeling: disappointed.
Eisley's latest album is finally out. But I can't seem to find it anywhere. Maybe I haven't been looking hard enough. Grrr. Must. Get. It.
I just found out something really awful last night. The things people do, really. It's bad enough that you have changed for the worst and now you're making people boycott the person who has always been there for you since day one? That's really low. It's upsetting to see how things turned out to be. Do we even know you? Lies, lies, lies. That's what we've been getting from you these days. We're not stupid. Well, maybe I am. Because I still do not wanna believe all these. I still think deep down inside, you're a nice person. I'm still defending you. I want to. I wanna talk to you about it. I really do. But I can't. Because things will turn ugly since I'm not exactly involved. Yet, I can't pretend that nothing has happened. If you only knew that it's killing her inside. Maybe some time soon, you'll find out. And you'll regret what an ugly person you have turned into and all the shit that you have done. Then, things will go back to normal like how they were when.
You are very naive, Jasmine.
I hate to be the sensitive one all the time. Whenever stuff like these happened, I'm always the one that is badly affected. I lied when I said I did not care. Time and time again, I keep telling myself to not be arsed by all of it, to not give in when I know it's not my fault. Why do I always have to be the one that has to patch things up when people are so unappreciative? No, it's not because I'm a good person. I'm not even a good person to begin with. It's because I care.
Tell me something more
than what you've tried to hide.
If you can't find yourself,
If you can't find yourself,
then how can I expect to find you?
Innocence gone.
If you can't hold yourself together,
Why should I hold you now?"
Innocence gone.
If you can't hold yourself together,
Why should I hold you now?"
xoxo
Labels: friends
a whole new beginning.
Listening to: Send Away The Tigers by The Manics
Feeling: confused
The Manic Street Preachers are back! Sorry for the utter randomness, I'm just excited. And thanks for the comments you guys posted on the previous entry. Very interesting comments there.
Well, classes have started this week but not all the subjects. I was pretty disappointed when I found out that Ms Zi is going to teach us Advertising and Consumer Behaviour. She's nice but her lectures are a bit boring. Owh well, it's only the first week. Hopefully things will be better. Mr Naasir is our lecturer for Media, Culture and Society. I have a feeling I'm going to like this class. There'll be a group assignment where we have to pick a music video and discuss about it. I'm pretty excited about the project. Hmm, Miss Peggy is teaching Mass Media Law. It's good to see her again. I remember how nervous I was when I was a freshie. Her class was the first lecture I attended and she was really nice. She still is actually. But I bet it won't be as easy and smooth sailing like how it was during the first semester. I've been told that it's an extremely tough subject. Even Miss Peggy said it herself. We had our first class on Thursday. It was fun! I can't wait for the next class. There were some changes in the timetable but I haven't checked it out yet. I hope I don't have classes on Wednesdays cos it wasn't easy picking the tutes. But I did hear that Ms Naomi's going to teach Creative Strategy. I can't wait to see what the others think. Nyeh.
Although the new semester has just begun, I started to realize the changes. Changes in people, that is. It's funny how people can just change like that. You think you know everything about someone and then all of a sudden, he/she started to act differently. So different, you wonder if it's really the same person. They're like complete strangers. The scary thing is, what if this is how they really are? Their real self. Their true colours. All this while, you thought you knew him/her. Then again, that might just be the impression of him/her that you wish to see and believe in. But when things started to change, you feel frustrated and somehow, helpless. What happened and why? Is it his/her fault? Or is it yours? Didn't the friendship mean anything? All the memories. Poof. Gone just like that?
I don't like the changes. At all. But it's not up to me to decide how someone leads his/her life. It just sucks how everyone around you are affected by it. I cared about how you feel and I was naive enough to think that it would be mutual. What do I get in return? False hopes and more lies. I'm still trying not to expect too much from people. I'm tired of being disappointed all over again.
Peer pressure is just highly influential, don't you think?
xoxo
Feeling: confused
The Manic Street Preachers are back! Sorry for the utter randomness, I'm just excited. And thanks for the comments you guys posted on the previous entry. Very interesting comments there.
Well, classes have started this week but not all the subjects. I was pretty disappointed when I found out that Ms Zi is going to teach us Advertising and Consumer Behaviour. She's nice but her lectures are a bit boring. Owh well, it's only the first week. Hopefully things will be better. Mr Naasir is our lecturer for Media, Culture and Society. I have a feeling I'm going to like this class. There'll be a group assignment where we have to pick a music video and discuss about it. I'm pretty excited about the project. Hmm, Miss Peggy is teaching Mass Media Law. It's good to see her again. I remember how nervous I was when I was a freshie. Her class was the first lecture I attended and she was really nice. She still is actually. But I bet it won't be as easy and smooth sailing like how it was during the first semester. I've been told that it's an extremely tough subject. Even Miss Peggy said it herself. We had our first class on Thursday. It was fun! I can't wait for the next class. There were some changes in the timetable but I haven't checked it out yet. I hope I don't have classes on Wednesdays cos it wasn't easy picking the tutes. But I did hear that Ms Naomi's going to teach Creative Strategy. I can't wait to see what the others think. Nyeh.
Although the new semester has just begun, I started to realize the changes. Changes in people, that is. It's funny how people can just change like that. You think you know everything about someone and then all of a sudden, he/she started to act differently. So different, you wonder if it's really the same person. They're like complete strangers. The scary thing is, what if this is how they really are? Their real self. Their true colours. All this while, you thought you knew him/her. Then again, that might just be the impression of him/her that you wish to see and believe in. But when things started to change, you feel frustrated and somehow, helpless. What happened and why? Is it his/her fault? Or is it yours? Didn't the friendship mean anything? All the memories. Poof. Gone just like that?
I don't like the changes. At all. But it's not up to me to decide how someone leads his/her life. It just sucks how everyone around you are affected by it. I cared about how you feel and I was naive enough to think that it would be mutual. What do I get in return? False hopes and more lies. I'm still trying not to expect too much from people. I'm tired of being disappointed all over again.
Peer pressure is just highly influential, don't you think?
xoxo
the r word
Listening to: The Con by Tegan and Sara
Feeling: bewildered
What is religion? From what I understood, religion is set of common beliefs and practices held by a group of people. In other words, some might say; religion is faith.
Why am I writing this?
Well, it all started when I was watching a movie yesterday, Cult. It's revolves around 4 college students who uncovered the existence of a supernatural power while they were working on an assignment. The "supernatural power" happens to be Guan Yin, the Goddess of Mercy. For those of you who didn't know, Guan Yin is one of the spiritual saints worshipped by Taoists and Buddhists. And I thought to myself, "Hmm, this should be interesting." The movie started off with a narrator explaining the so-called history and origins of Guan Yin. I was slightly disturbed. They got the facts all wrong. Guan Yin was not killed because she was pregnant out of wedlock. And she was not stabbed in eyes and stomach or whatever they were bullshitting. I wasn't offended because of that alone. I was snubbed by how the story was told. They portrayed Guan Yin as an evil spirit worshipped by cultists. And a kid even called her "an Asian whore". It was preposterous.
Didn't the film makers do a research before they write the script? Ok, maybe they could claim that it's fiction. Or a story based loosely on the history of Guan Yin. But they should know that when such a film touches religious issues, it will automatically be a sensitive subject. Look how The Da Vinci Code generated such heavy criticism. Unfortunately, or fortunately, Cult is a low budget film (seeing how bad the acting was and starring unknown actors). And that's probably the reason why nothing was brought up.
Take this video I watched on Youtube not too long ago. In the video, the girl said that people are gullible to believe things being said to us. She stated that we should find the facts and not believe blindly in what we are told. I didn't quite understand what she was trying to say as the video quality wasn't excellent but after reading the comments posted by Youtubers, I realized that she was talking about - you guessed it - religion. In another video, she was comparing the bible to a Physics textbook. She said that the bible is somewhat like a storybook as it has pictures and articulating that the Noah's Ark is a fairytale. And to make things worse, the way she said it and her expressions were painful to watch. She was trying to be witty and it was aggravating, I would say. The video, of course, triggered a heated argument and comments full of vulgarities.
Sure, we live in democracy. In a free country or whatsoever. But religion is a touchy subject. Why did she condemn a religion to get her message across? Is it because she wants to find fame on Youtube? Or maybe she was just an average tween simply trying to convey her message? I don't know. But I do know that she is terribly insensitive and ignorant as she did not think of the consequences.
I'm not religious. I admit that I do not know much about my own religion. Aaaand I'm not good with words. I wrote all of the above based on my opinions and if you find it offensive, I'm sorry. I think.
I find it awfully odd that I'm even blogging about this. I should stop now.
Feeling: bewildered
What is religion? From what I understood, religion is set of common beliefs and practices held by a group of people. In other words, some might say; religion is faith.
Why am I writing this?
Well, it all started when I was watching a movie yesterday, Cult. It's revolves around 4 college students who uncovered the existence of a supernatural power while they were working on an assignment. The "supernatural power" happens to be Guan Yin, the Goddess of Mercy. For those of you who didn't know, Guan Yin is one of the spiritual saints worshipped by Taoists and Buddhists. And I thought to myself, "Hmm, this should be interesting." The movie started off with a narrator explaining the so-called history and origins of Guan Yin. I was slightly disturbed. They got the facts all wrong. Guan Yin was not killed because she was pregnant out of wedlock. And she was not stabbed in eyes and stomach or whatever they were bullshitting. I wasn't offended because of that alone. I was snubbed by how the story was told. They portrayed Guan Yin as an evil spirit worshipped by cultists. And a kid even called her "an Asian whore". It was preposterous.
Didn't the film makers do a research before they write the script? Ok, maybe they could claim that it's fiction. Or a story based loosely on the history of Guan Yin. But they should know that when such a film touches religious issues, it will automatically be a sensitive subject. Look how The Da Vinci Code generated such heavy criticism. Unfortunately, or fortunately, Cult is a low budget film (seeing how bad the acting was and starring unknown actors). And that's probably the reason why nothing was brought up.
Take this video I watched on Youtube not too long ago. In the video, the girl said that people are gullible to believe things being said to us. She stated that we should find the facts and not believe blindly in what we are told. I didn't quite understand what she was trying to say as the video quality wasn't excellent but after reading the comments posted by Youtubers, I realized that she was talking about - you guessed it - religion. In another video, she was comparing the bible to a Physics textbook. She said that the bible is somewhat like a storybook as it has pictures and articulating that the Noah's Ark is a fairytale. And to make things worse, the way she said it and her expressions were painful to watch. She was trying to be witty and it was aggravating, I would say. The video, of course, triggered a heated argument and comments full of vulgarities.
Sure, we live in democracy. In a free country or whatsoever. But religion is a touchy subject. Why did she condemn a religion to get her message across? Is it because she wants to find fame on Youtube? Or maybe she was just an average tween simply trying to convey her message? I don't know. But I do know that she is terribly insensitive and ignorant as she did not think of the consequences.
I'm not religious. I admit that I do not know much about my own religion. Aaaand I'm not good with words. I wrote all of the above based on my opinions and if you find it offensive, I'm sorry. I think.
I find it awfully odd that I'm even blogging about this. I should stop now.
Do you think it's alright for such movies and videos to depict such messages? Tell me what YOU think.
xoxo
Labels: random
rain, rain, don't go away
Listening to: Born For This by Paramore.
Feeling: pleasant.
I love it when it rains. I like it when it's dark and cloudy. I find it very relaxing. As weird as it sounds.
I went to college yesterday for the new semester briefing. It was a total waste of time. Ms F gave a speech on the usual stuff and incidents. Ben and I realized that she "recycles" her jokes. Obviously, not many people were paying attention cos we were busy catching up with one another. It was nice seeing everyone again. So anyway, classes were supposed to start tomorrow but they've postponed it to next week instead. Woooooot.
I finally bought a pair of black skinny jeans! I've been looking everywhere for the perfect pair. It's funny, sometimes, how you ended up buying something from a place you least expected. So anyway, I told my sister not to get me the skinnies from Topshop and she paid for this one instead. It's my (much delayed) birthday present. She got me this nice necklace as well. Hmm, what else eh? Owh, my mum bought me two really cool waistcoats. And Marianne gave me a cute tee she bought in Alabama. Thank you! It's amazing that I didn't spend so much money shopping during my semester break. I get free stuff instead. Now aren't you proud of me, Cucumber? *proud grin*
Have I mentioned how much I love Paramore? It sucks that they're on MTV now. The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Plain White T's. Avenged Sevenfold. The Academy Is. Their videos are being played on the damn music television. I hate it. I can't find a way to explain it, really. In a way, it's not special anymore. It'll just be another band to a lot of people out there. And before you know it, everyone's a fan. They go, "Ohhhh, I'm [insert band here]'s biggest fan!" after listening to one hit single. It's bloody annoying. And it's scary how unreasonable I sound right now.
Ares is taking forever to scan my songs. 38 minutes and it's only halfway through. What in the world...? Thank god for iTunes.
xoxo
Feeling: pleasant.
I love it when it rains. I like it when it's dark and cloudy. I find it very relaxing. As weird as it sounds.
I went to college yesterday for the new semester briefing. It was a total waste of time. Ms F gave a speech on the usual stuff and incidents. Ben and I realized that she "recycles" her jokes. Obviously, not many people were paying attention cos we were busy catching up with one another. It was nice seeing everyone again. So anyway, classes were supposed to start tomorrow but they've postponed it to next week instead. Woooooot.
I finally bought a pair of black skinny jeans! I've been looking everywhere for the perfect pair. It's funny, sometimes, how you ended up buying something from a place you least expected. So anyway, I told my sister not to get me the skinnies from Topshop and she paid for this one instead. It's my (much delayed) birthday present. She got me this nice necklace as well. Hmm, what else eh? Owh, my mum bought me two really cool waistcoats. And Marianne gave me a cute tee she bought in Alabama. Thank you! It's amazing that I didn't spend so much money shopping during my semester break. I get free stuff instead. Now aren't you proud of me, Cucumber? *proud grin*
Have I mentioned how much I love Paramore? It sucks that they're on MTV now. The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Plain White T's. Avenged Sevenfold. The Academy Is. Their videos are being played on the damn music television. I hate it. I can't find a way to explain it, really. In a way, it's not special anymore. It'll just be another band to a lot of people out there. And before you know it, everyone's a fan. They go, "Ohhhh, I'm [insert band here]'s biggest fan!" after listening to one hit single. It's bloody annoying. And it's scary how unreasonable I sound right now.
Ares is taking forever to scan my songs. 38 minutes and it's only halfway through. What in the world...? Thank god for iTunes.
xoxo
Labels: college, music, shopping
i passed! i passed!
Listening to: Niki FM by Hawthorne Heights.
Feeling: mixed
I passed my exams! Well, according to Sam, that is. Just like every semester, I don't go to college to check my results when they're out. Why? I'm a chicken. That's why. So anyway, I got 3B+ and 2B-. Yeah, big fat B's. But I couldn't ask for anything more. I'm pretty surprised that my group members and I didn't get an A for Desktop though. But owh well, no C's this semester. And B+ for Media Planning! I'm still going to wait for the letter to be delivered to my mum. Just for confirmation. And consolation. Tee-hee.
*He called yesterday. And I didn't answer the phone. I'm not trying to avoid him. At least I'd like to think that I'm not. But who am I kidding? I am. My friend thinks I'm a witch for doing so. But she doesn't understand my situation. She doesn't see him like how I witnessed what sort of person he really is. But I don't blame her. She's not the only one. I don't hate him. I'm just not comfortable around him. He brought back memories. Memories I don't want to recall. I was tolerant with how things were. But in the end, I guess I was just not tolerant enough.
I need a haircut. Bleh.
xoxo
Feeling: mixed
I passed my exams! Well, according to Sam, that is. Just like every semester, I don't go to college to check my results when they're out. Why? I'm a chicken. That's why. So anyway, I got 3B+ and 2B-. Yeah, big fat B's. But I couldn't ask for anything more. I'm pretty surprised that my group members and I didn't get an A for Desktop though. But owh well, no C's this semester. And B+ for Media Planning! I'm still going to wait for the letter to be delivered to my mum. Just for confirmation. And consolation. Tee-hee.
*He called yesterday. And I didn't answer the phone. I'm not trying to avoid him. At least I'd like to think that I'm not. But who am I kidding? I am. My friend thinks I'm a witch for doing so. But she doesn't understand my situation. She doesn't see him like how I witnessed what sort of person he really is. But I don't blame her. She's not the only one. I don't hate him. I'm just not comfortable around him. He brought back memories. Memories I don't want to recall. I was tolerant with how things were. But in the end, I guess I was just not tolerant enough.
I need a haircut. Bleh.
xoxo
kevin's birthday
Listening to: Under Pressure by David Bowie and Queen
Feeling: energetic
It was Kevin's21st (fine, 20th!) birthday yesterday. A bunch of us had dinner at Shakey's in OU. Hmm, I think there were 14 of us. Sam came to pick me up at Kelana Jaya station around 7 and we met up with Mel, Arthur and Jeaney. Kevin and the rest weren't there yet so we went to Secret Recipe to buy a cake for the old hag.
Kevin ordered a lot of food and we were so stuffed. We were happily chit-chatting when the waiter came with the 5th large pizza and we went, "Another one?!". Apparently, the waiter placed the wrong order and he thought we wanted 8 pizzas. Geez loiuse.
Sam dropped me back all the way to Ampang. Thank you! But I felt so bad. Maybe it's time I ask my mum to get me a car. It's so troublesome to depend on my friends whenever we go out at night and it sucks even more to take the public transport after college. But I doubt she'll buy me a car. Plus, I haven't been driving ever since I had gotten my permit. Bleh.
I came home just in time to catch a Disney movie. Yeah, I still watch Disney Channel. So anyway, I don't remember what the movie's called but America Ferrara is in it. She was so young! And super curvy. I didn't get to watch the entire movie cos the ANTM re-run was on. I seriously think Renee's one of the most annoying contestants ever on ANTM history. But then again, people like her make the show interesting. I mean, what's a reality show without drama right? And speaking of drama, I've been catching The Hills for weeks now. It's insane, really. I used to think Laguna Beach's a stupid show. Actually, I still do. The Hills is a bit more mature. Ok, maybe mature's not the right adjective but you get my point. However, when it comes to dumb shows, nothing can beat Sweet Sixteen. It's like a must for the spoilt brats to be "surprised" with a car as their birthday presents by the end of the party/show. Or else, it'll make them look bad. It's so outrageous that you don't even feel jealous watching it. You feel disgusted.
On a lighter note, here are some photos taken by Eman during dinner last night.
Feeling: energetic
It was Kevin's
Kevin ordered a lot of food and we were so stuffed. We were happily chit-chatting when the waiter came with the 5th large pizza and we went, "Another one?!". Apparently, the waiter placed the wrong order and he thought we wanted 8 pizzas. Geez loiuse.
Sam dropped me back all the way to Ampang. Thank you! But I felt so bad. Maybe it's time I ask my mum to get me a car. It's so troublesome to depend on my friends whenever we go out at night and it sucks even more to take the public transport after college. But I doubt she'll buy me a car. Plus, I haven't been driving ever since I had gotten my permit. Bleh.
I came home just in time to catch a Disney movie. Yeah, I still watch Disney Channel. So anyway, I don't remember what the movie's called but America Ferrara is in it. She was so young! And super curvy. I didn't get to watch the entire movie cos the ANTM re-run was on. I seriously think Renee's one of the most annoying contestants ever on ANTM history. But then again, people like her make the show interesting. I mean, what's a reality show without drama right? And speaking of drama, I've been catching The Hills for weeks now. It's insane, really. I used to think Laguna Beach's a stupid show. Actually, I still do. The Hills is a bit more mature. Ok, maybe mature's not the right adjective but you get my point. However, when it comes to dumb shows, nothing can beat Sweet Sixteen. It's like a must for the spoilt brats to be "surprised" with a car as their birthday presents by the end of the party/show. Or else, it'll make them look bad. It's so outrageous that you don't even feel jealous watching it. You feel disgusted.
On a lighter note, here are some photos taken by Eman during dinner last night.
That's Kevin grinning cheekily. 
He's wishing for unlimited wishes.
And then, he decided to spit on the cake.
But we ate it anyway.
All of us, minus Kah Meng and Eman.
The girls and Kevin.
That's all for now.
xoxo
and she's back.
Listening to: Love Me by National Product.
Feeling: troubled.
So yeah, I decided to blog again. I kinda miss writing. I don't know how long this blog's going to last this time though. lol. The reason why I moved my blog is because I found out that many people were reading lipstique and I'm not too comfortable with that. Now, only my close friends know the existence of this new one. And people I'm comfortable with as well. Basically, I'm trying to keep it as private as possible.
Hmm, my mind's pretty blank right now. Because I'mkinda dead worried. I heard from the boys that our results might be out today. I really don't wanna know how I did. Well, I know - for sure - that I did pretty badly. Besides the fact that I procrastinated, all 5 papers last semester were tough. Especially Media Planning. That has to be the shittiest subject ever. Not to forget, we had a shitty lecturer. I hope I'm not getting sued for writing that.
Gosh, my internet connection kept getting disconnected. Thank god for the new blogger-saves-your-draft-automatically system. Or whatever it's called.
I think I should get some sleep now. It's already 4 am but it states a different time below. Does anyone know how I can change the time zone?
xoxo
Feeling: troubled.
So yeah, I decided to blog again. I kinda miss writing. I don't know how long this blog's going to last this time though. lol. The reason why I moved my blog is because I found out that many people were reading lipstique and I'm not too comfortable with that. Now, only my close friends know the existence of this new one. And people I'm comfortable with as well. Basically, I'm trying to keep it as private as possible.
Hmm, my mind's pretty blank right now. Because I'm
Gosh, my internet connection kept getting disconnected. Thank god for the new blogger-saves-your-draft-automatically system. Or whatever it's called.
I think I should get some sleep now. It's already 4 am but it states a different time below. Does anyone know how I can change the time zone?
xoxo
Labels: college